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A Cavalier Fan’s Guide to Joining a Playoff Bandwagon

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Article Summary:

While the Cavs’ championship will be determined by loose ping pong balls, there are 20 teams who will play actual basketball to decide a champion.

Here’s who you should root for if you

…love sleek, modern basketball; love shit talking even more: Miami Heat, Golden State Warriors

The Heat and Warriors are paragons of modern hoops.

…are a SexLand fan; are willing to offer grace to a slightly undercooked idea: Boston Celtics, Portland Trail Blazers

A pair of small-but-dynamic guards who often struggle on defense? Incessant discussions about their ability to coexist? Red and black uniforms for a team located in a northern corner of the country? Watching the Blazers feels like looking at the Cavaliers’ future through a bullish crystal ball. My team finished 45-37, good for sixth in the Western Conference, then lost in the first round anyway because????????? And then my player got released after his shithead best friend died.

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